Guest blogger: Bonnard the cat

Greetings, it's me. Bonnard the cat. I'm taking over this dumb blog for today because Louis is over in the corner sleeping, and I like to tell you people what he's really like.

He often suggests that I'm fat. I like to think of my crushing obesity as a physical reflection of the rage I hold inside against, well... all of you. I'm quite angry at the world! In fact, the only person I'm not prone to hissing at all the time is Kimberly, but that's only because I need at least one human available to feed me. You know... so I can overeat and create that physical reflection of my rage inside! See, it all makes sense really.

This is me eating a cupcake. I took it from someone else, and my sociopathic mindset allows me to do this without feeling emotion, or caring about the other person's sense of loss at all. Did you know serial killers exhibit the same set of tendencies as me? Hmm. Go figure.

Some people accuse me of writing pieces that are "dark" on this blog and that I am "filled with rage" and "need counseling." Yes, yes and get over yourself. A cat counselor? Please. I hiss in your general direction.

We got a notice from the vet that me and the dumb cat are due for a checkup. I noticed last time I was there they had to get a second vet tech to handle my "special needs" (i.e. claws of justice fueled by inner rage). I love going to the vet... it's oddly vindicating...

Now, where's that publish post button... ahhh... there it is...